WARNING: Full-on comic book bonerfest ahead! Take cover if you have a low tolerance for superhero-related ramblings!

“Batman or Superman?” In geek circles, it’s a similar question to “Millwall or West Ham?” Except the answer is less likely to get you bottled or hit with a bat upside the head. Marginally less likely.

If you have a passing knowledge of comic book characters, you can tell a lot about a person from the answer. Superman’s appeal is immediate and obvious. He’s the Man Of Steel. He’s super-strong, faster than a speeding bullet, he can fly, and he’s nigh on invulnerable. Kal-El to his friends, bumbling reporter Clark Kent to everyone else. He embodies the apple pie heroics and social idealism that characterise the most symbolic American heroes. He watches over Metropolis, a city that has become a glittering utopia under his protection.

Then there’s Batman. The Dark Knight. He’s the world’s greatest detective and an altogether grimmer proposition than Clark Kent and his red ‘n’ blue spandex. Tormented by the murder of his parents, he wages an uncompromising war against crime, with fear his chief ally (aside from Robin, but who gives a fuck about Robin, anyway). He presides over the smoggy, perpetual night of the Gotham City rooftops.

I’ve always been a Batman kind of guy.

Don’t get me wrong. I think Superman’s great. His amazing powers make for some seriously arresting artwork, and he gets all the coolest villains (Brainiac, anyone?). The fact that he’s an invincible super alien who could single-handedly take over the world also allows talented writers to explore themes of imperfect democracy and benign dictatorship, and all the moral quandaries in between – Superman: Red Son and Kingdom Come are a couple of great examples of this. 

But Superman’s still more powerful as a symbol than a character. He provokes debate and goes on incredible galactic adventures, but if you went round to his house (house, Fortress of Solitude, whatever) for dinner, he wouldn’t be much fun. He probably spends his Sundays eating marshmallows and coaching little league softball while Lois Lane drinks alone in the kitchen from a lack of interesting conversation.

Batman works both as a symbol and as a character. The best thing about him is you can never quite work out if he’s a good guy or not. He brings hope to people let down by a shoddy police force, but he maims and terrorises criminals in order to do it. He lives by a strict personal code, but frequently considers himself above the law of the land. He walks the fine line separating justice and revenge; heroism and fascism. Let’s face it, if a man in the real world dressed like a bat, lived in a cave and made a nightly habit of busting burglars’ skulls, he’d probably become a BNP poster boy. With London knife violence rising, would you want someone like Batman watching your back, or would that make London even scarier? It’s the classic “fire versus fire” debate.

So, as a reader (or viewer – The Dark Knight movie is released this week), where do you stand? Is Bruce Wayne clearly unhinged and deserving of a lengthy stay in Arkham Asylum, Gotham’s loony bin? Should he have just stopped being such a freak and joined the police force? Or is he a necessary countermeasure to a city under siege, a symbol of a community caring for its own? Stories like The Long Halloween, Batman: Year One and The Dark Knight Returns all show the Caped Crusader at he is: flawed; human; uncompromising.

Granted, he wouldn’t be any better than Superman as a dinner host. If you crossed him, he’d probably beat you half to death with the pepper grinder. But I guess as a Batman devotee, I must like it rough. I’d take a kick to the sternum from Batman over a slice of warm apple pie from Superman any day.