Londoners Magazine

It has taken nearly two decades for Steven Spielberg and George Lucas to come up with a story for Indiana Jones IV, and there are plenty of archaeological mythologies to choose from. Yet they chose perhaps the worst idea imaginable.

The plot is complicated; the stunts more exaggerated than the first three films, and the climax cringe worthy. Picture an entire row of the audience with their hands over their eyes, curling up into their seats. This was the scene in my local multiplex.

Much of the exposition was nostalgia-driven: harking back to old times like when Indy (played by 65-year-old Harrison Ford) was youthful. Or Indy saying: “Dad would be proud” as the camera pans to a photograph of Sean Connery. And worst of all, the comeback of Marion, the ballsy female sidekick in Raiders.

There is only so many past references one can take without losing the feel of the present film.

Lucas did make a wise choice, however, to move the film forward in real time. Crystal Skull is set in the late 1950s, aging Indy correctly: he is old, in his 60s. This setting also provides the entrance of the brilliant Mutt Williams (played by Shia LaBeouf), a James Dean wannabe with bike and hair comb in toe. He breathes fresh air into the mix and gives excellent support.

As for Spielberg’s part, his familiar directorial trademarks are fun and comforting. You know from the off you’re watching a Spielberg film, and the use of colour is similar enough to the other Indy films that you feel safe in the knowledge that not too much will be different.

I’m not going to tell people not to see this film, because no one will listen to me. I heard rubbish reviews and it didn’t stop me from seeing it for myself. But I urge you to just sit back, enjoy it and expect to be disappointed.