Londoners Magazine

I have tried to give up alcohol twice in the past 12 months. The first time I lasted two weeks. The second time I lasted for an entire month, but this was only because my goal at the end of the month was a massive piss-up to celebrate my birthday.

The hardest thing about giving up alcohol is going to the pub with your friends. Not just the pub, but any social setting. My first attempt at abstinence broke because I went to the pub and couldn’t think of a single soft drink that the pub might sell; all I wanted was a cool glass of Semillon Sauvignon. As for the second (successful) attempt, I went out only once in the month for fear of failure if I went out any more. My one night out was among 10 other girlfriends, to a restaurant and club on Brick Lane. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Picture the scene: 10 girls and five complementary bottles of wine. There are puzzled faces, questions such as “but why would you want to give up alcohol?” and sneaky attempts to fill my empty glass with Merlot. All of these I could resist. But when we arrived at the club I was at breaking point. Every one of this gaggle of girls was pissed as a fart and I was as sober as a cow in a butchers. Their jokes just weren’t funny and their constant photo-taking was blinding me. I had to go home.

My friend is off alcohol for two weeks and she is braving a sober night out tonight. Already she is thinking of flaking. She is sure that she can cope with a few drinks in Canary Wharf but can she make it to the club later? My hat goes off to her if she can do it. And I wish her luck; it’s one of the hardest tests of endurance any human can make.

My advice? Bugger it. Unless you are driving, give up abstaining until after tomorrow’s Bloody Mary.