Londoners Magazine

You’ve got something borrowed and something blue, your best friend is three sheets to the wind and ogling the grooms men, while the groom himself is - as tradition would have it - handcuffed naked to a lamppost with an eastern European hooker named Olga.

Yet you’ve got this niggling feeling you’ve forgotten something?

Well God darn it you’ve only just gone and forgotten to register at The Starting Over Show, Britain’s first ever divorce fair. It was Neil Sedaka who said that “breaking up is hard to do”, but now it’s easier than ever with this handy little expo aimed at helping people bounce back when they can’t be arsed waiting “till death do they part.”

The world’s first divorce fair, held last year in Vienna, attracted 500 people and 20 exhibitors. Even the Catholic Church had a stand dolling out advice to newly single parents.

Featuring lawyers, business experts, health professionals and independent financial advisers as well as - Londoners shits you not - pole dancers, it’s not surprising that this event has drawn criticism from all quarters, with Anastasia de Waal, head of family and education at Civitas, saying: “It sounds like a celebration of divorce and a bit gimmicky.”

However with more than 140,000 UK couples divorcing each year, get a head start in protecting your assets and going to the first ever-British divorce fair in Brighton on the 11th of October.