Londoners Magazine
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“Remember, the higher the trousers are, the more serious you’ll be. True fact: if you pull your trousers up to your armpits, you’ll probably become Prime Minister…” |
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““What kind of sick world is this?” thought the newly-named geeks, most of whom also had to endure the physical double whammy of face-scarring acne and embarrassingly hairless testicles…” |
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“Shockingly, the British government has failed to channel any of its massive defence budget into precautions against the underestimated threat of a zombie apocalypse. Not even a public service broadcast to promote zombie awareness…” |
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“I need to release some pressure caused by unhealthy bile build-up. Seriously, I think it might be giving me bowel cancer…” |
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“Just in case any of you aren’t instantly drawn in by the life-affirming prospect of watching four women sit in a café slurping cocktails and discussing their vaginas, this is my recommendation…” |
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“There’s one musician who I love wholly and unreservedly, but still feel like a bit of a geek because of it. Why? Because whenever I tell people about it, they invariably look at me like I’ve just told them I enjoy stamping on hedgehogs…” |
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“If there’s anything more annoying than David Tennant running around grinning like a twat, it’s David Tennant running around, closely followed by Catherine Tate…” |
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“I expect the makers of GTA IV are now retreating to a specially made bunker to take shelter from the impending moral shit storm…” |
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“I’ve been at home quite a lot recently. Of course, by “at home”, I mean “playing shoot-em-ups on my Xbox”. And by “quite a lot”, I mean “every waking second until my eyes swell up…” |
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“Super hero comics are great. They’re pure escapism, filled with improbable characters and endless possibilities…” |
