Londoners Magazine

Sarah Riches invites you to take the London challenge. Add up your abcs and scroll down to find out just how “London” you are.

1) You see a mouse on the underground – what do you do?

a) Ignore it, it’s only a mouse

b) Catch it, you’ve always wanted a pet

c) Scream in terror – are there more? Urgh, now you feel all tickly

2) The London marathon:

a) You watched it live once when you were about 10. You’ll be in the pub

b) There’s no way you’d miss it, the crowds just make the day that much more fun!

c) You’ve been training for months, when in Rome eh?

3) It’s Sunday, and you want to go for a traditional British meal. You order…

a) Pie and chips mate! And a pint of lager – hair of the dog an’ all

b) Chicken tikka masala. It was invented by the British, you know

c) You and your friend share a portion of fish and chips; it looks disgusting but you’ve got to get into the spirit of things!

4) How many of the following streets can you find? Cock Lane, Rotten Row, England’s Lane and Darling Row

a) I live on Cock Lane!

b) None without my A to Z

c) Does Oxford Street count?

5) Jellied eels:

a) Only if you paid me

b) Mmm

c) Jellied what? Is that dessert?

6) A pregnant woman gets on the tube. Do you..?

a) Smile and shift in your seat to get a bit more comfortable

b) What woman?

c) Jump up and insist she takes your seat

7) How many musicals have you seen?

a) Musicals? You must be kidding – none

b) Three; whenever there’s cheap tickets in thelondonpaper

c) Seven; Fame, Grease and Rent are all good but nothing beats Dirty Dancing

8) It’s a sunny Saturday. Do you…?

a) Grab a coffee and a paper and sit in your local park, exclaiming what a lovely day it is

b) Go on the London Eye again – after all, you only live once!

c) Visit Madame Tussauds

9) You’re waiting in a queue and a stranger stands on your foot. You…?

a) Apologise profusely, and continue to wait patiently in line

b) Wince, and shoot them a dirty look

c) Stamp on theirs – see how they like it

10) Covent Garden is…

a) An overpriced rip-off; a tourist trap

b) A convenient meeting point

c) Such a lovely place to shop! And there are just so many nice restaurants! And aren’t those men standing still funny?

Answers

Mostly As: You’re a proper Londoner

Congratulations! You’re London born and bred; proud to know your Kentish Town from your Canning Town. By day you love nothing more than a cup of rosy, while at night you can be found sipping a pint down your local.

Mostly Bs: You live in the suburbs

You’re doing a good job of faking it. Tourists ask you for directions, so you know you must be doing something right. Ditch the cockney rhyming slang in your Birmingham/Geordie/Mancunian accent though, you’re just embarrassing yourself.

Mostly Cs: You’re a tourist

This morning you stood on the left-hand side of the escalator in the tube, wondering where everyone was. You weren’t in a hurry – your sole aim for today was to get your photo taken standing next to a Queen’s guard. Pathetic.