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“Mrs Terry chooses to relate that when she fell pregnant with me my dad wanted her to abort. It is unclear whether the sight of my moustache has prompted this outburst…..” |
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“Hey Babe, lose the zero get with the hero….” |
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“I was cyber bullied last week by some girls I haven’t thought about for over ten years….” |
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“Our gigs were a riot of shrieks, shots and bum baring from the window of the tour bus…” |
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“One of my housemates is currently soaking his feet in a bowl of tea…” |
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“Mrs Terry has gained access to MySpace. I am unhappy about this…” |
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“If you wonder who the girl on stage with the pineapple is, it’s me…” |
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“Sorry, fans…” |
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“Just what it is one does when sober in the evening…?” |
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“I’ve done some things I’ve regretted when tipsy, mostly men…” |